Looking back over the past few months can be a bit overwhelming when I consider all the random acts of kindness that I have received. I mean, really over the last two years it's been quite amazing to me, but for some reason the past two months it seemed like one thing right after another.

When we have trials we often feel abandoned and alone, and have a hard time really seeing our Heavenly Father's hand in our daily lives. We become so consumed by what heartaches and pains we are experiencing that we don't pay attention to the little blessings in our lives.

When I got shingles, I had a really hard time with it. I mean, I was cruising along, feeling 'great'. I even had told Greg not to long before that I hadn't felt that good in a long time. So when this came along, took me out of my daily routine, and just shook everything up, I was a bit hurt. I couldn't help but think, "Why now? I haven't been feeling overly stressed, everything is good, so why now?" It was hard, because I like to think that I've handled this whole experience fairly well (though my husband may disagree.) Yes, I have my moments, but overall, I feel like I've done okay, so for me to feel this way kind of dampened my whole spirit.

I often prayed for strength to help me get through this. I apologized to my Heavenly Father for not handling it very well, and told Him that I really wanted to be strong. I wanted to make it through. Of course He's not going to make it all go away entirely, but He will throw in some things that will help me feel better.

And that's when the kindness and thoughtfulness of others started pouring in.

I post a LOT on my Instagram, and a lot of it does have to do with how I'm feeling. Why? For sympathy of others? No. Because I want to remember the hard times so I can look back and say, "Look what I did!" Without having to put a lot of words down on paper, a simple picture with some extremely long hashtags help me remember.

A couple of days into my shingles, I received a card in the mail from a cousin on my husband's side. I have only met them a couple of times, but we're friends on facebook and instagram, so we kind of keep in touch that way. Her name is also Bre. She was a sweetheart and sent us a Coldstone gift card. So incredibly thoughtful.

Not long after that, I received another card in the mail from my Aunt & Uncle. I was a bit surprised to get it, but it totally made my day. Knowing that extended family is thinking of you is a great feeling.

Of course, I already told about my mom coming and bringing us meals, then rubbing my back for a good long while.

I received a fun little gift bag full of fun yellow stuff to brighten my day from my Visiting Teachers.

My co-workers were constantly in touch the week I was gone, just making sure I was okay (and wondering whether I was coming into work or not.) My good friend, and co-worker, Donna called me the Sunday before I returned to work and asked if she could bring me dinner. If you  know her cooking, then you can understand why I would never say no to her. She made us individual chicken pot pies, a salad, and some super delicious cookies.


When I got back to work, my co-workers were awesome as always. They are so good to help me pick things up that I've dropped, to help me count money when my hands are frozen and won't work, or to scan my checks at the end of the day when I'm just exhausted and really want to get home. I really feel bad that they do so much for me. They never complain one bit. Tease me, yes, but never complain. They seriously are the greatest.

My sisters-in-law pitched in and bought me this. It's called Secret Curl, and it's a fancy little tool that makes curling my hair super easy. They had seen how much I loved my hair curled, and were thoughtful enough to get this for me so Greg can do my hair.


One day I was back at work, and this lovely couple showed up to surprise me. They are two of my good friends from high school who were in town to celebrate their anniversary. I was seriously shocked, and yet so excited that they would stop by and say hi. We talked for quite a while. I very rarely get to see them anymore. Last time was at my brother's wedding (he married their niece.)


And then this came. I was working on a Saturday with Donna, and a girl that we both know pretty well went through lane two. This girls is always super sweet, and both Donna and I just love her. She moved away maybe 6 months or more, and so we hadn't seen her in a while. I helped her with her transaction, and sent a receipt out for her to sign. She sent it back and drove off, but when I opened  the tube, this sweet note was in here. I immediately started tear up. I don't remember telling her about my situation, and even if I did, it was 6 months ago. She's only seen me one other time before this, since being back, and I don't think we really said more than, "Hi" to each other.

Here's the thing that I haven't talked about really. My appearance. Do you think I like that I've lost 40 pounds and totally look anorexic? Or that the skin on my face is tightening, especially around my mouth, which makes my crooked teeth stand out a lot more than normal? Or that my once full lips are slowly disappearing? Or that the lines around my mouth just get more and more noticeable? Or that my hands are starting to turn into "claws"? Or that my arms don't straighten, and there is a permanent bend at my elbow? I know I sound shallow and vain, but to hear that you are beautiful after going through so many of these physical changes is pretty sweet.

I don't ever really complain about my appearance to anyone but my husband. You know how in  high school you used to go to school and say, "Oh, man, I totally look like crap today?" Yeah, you just don't do that when you're an adult. Besides, I'm just trying to take this all in, and complaining constantly about how crappy I look everyday is not going to help any, and will just make me feel worse. So I just shake my head, and roll with it. Point is, to hear your beautiful is always something a girl needs to hear. So that was appreciated.

And of course the last part. "Everything will be ok!" Seriously? How did you know that I needed to hear that. Remember, this was in that weird after-shingles period that nothing felt 'normal'. I don't know how she knew to write that, but it was what I needed, and I will be forever grateful to her for doing that for me.


Just last week while I was at work, I received this huge, beautiful basket of flowers. I have no idea who they are from. My boss just put it at my station and said they wanted to remain anonymous. It was the greatest surprise ever.


And then this week I received a visit from a sweet friend from many, many years ago. She was a couple of years older than me, but we were in band and young women's together. She was also so kind, and such a great example. It was a sweet blessing to see her again.



This doesn't even scratch the surface of the kindness I've received. I've received a lot of words of encouragement and it just really means a lot. It's made me realize what a horrible human being I've been for not following up on the prompts to go visit someone, or send someone a card or a gift. Even now as I type I think of at least three people I need to do something for, and I just haven't. Seriously. What is wrong with me? I need to be better, and each of you needs to be sure to follow up on those promptings to act in kindness. You never know what your kindness will do for someone.

Going back to my prayers. My {patriarchal blessing} blesses me with the "constant realization of the love of my Heavenly Father." He can't be here physically to hug me, or have a conversation back and forth, or to bring me flowers or meals. That's why he needs each and every one of us. I know my Heavenly Father prompted all these sweet people, because he knew I needed to feel of His love.

Seriously, people. I am blessed!!

So, if you're a friend of mine on facebook, I apologize for the Scleroderma overload, but I'm not done yet. Here is my blog plug for the upcoming Northern Utah 2014 - Stepping Out to Cure Scleroderma 5K Walk/Run.

Since being diagnosed with Scleroderma, I've decided that I want to do something at least once a year to raise money and awareness for it. I had no idea what I was going to do, and thoughts ran through my mind like hosting a 5K, or a volleyball tournament, but I had no idea how that would work. Luckily, in searching the internet, I found that there was already a fundraiser set up in Northern Utah. Perfect! Now I didn't have to stress about setting something up myself (though I do think it would be fun to put together a volleyball tournament or something!)

I had posted on facebook if any one wanted to do it with me, and got a few responses, but then when I was talking to my mom at Kennan's track me, she said she had spoken to my Aunt Laurel, and Laurel said that we should do it...with t-shirts and everything.

So here's what we've got planned: 

We are inviting anyone who is interested to join us in support of myself and others who are suffering with this disease. You can do this in any of the following ways.

Join us as we walk/run for the Northern Utah 2014 - Stepping Out to Cure Scleroderma 5K. Entry fee is $20 ($25 if you register the day of). You can choose to either run the 5K or do a 1 mile walk (which is what I'll be doing). Register by going {HERE}, clicking on "I want to attend the event and register," then click on "join a team" to join my team. Search for my team which is:

Sclero-what?

Question mark and all. You should see my team show up with me as the captain. If you don't, let me know and I'll try to walk you through it again.

We will also be having team shirts, which are $10 (separate from the registration fee). You don't have to purchase one if you are running/walking, these are just for fun and so "Team Bre" can stand out!

If you are unable to attend the walk/run, but would still like to donate directly to the Scleroderma Foundation on my behalf, you can go to my team page: http://scfo.convio.net/goto/sclero-what and click the "Support Scleroderma" button.

Or, you can just purchase a "Team Bre" t-shirt for $10, and all the proceeds will go to the Scleroderma Foundation.

If you want a specific size (adult or kids sizes), we need to know as soon as possible so we can get them ordered. You can either leave me a comment here, email me at bre11414@hotmail.com, or join my facebook event {HERE} and let me know there.


I really REALLY appreciate the love and support I've received so far. Special thanks to my mom for helping me organize this, and my aunt who kind of spurred this. Love you all!

I had my second PFT schedule for the 2nd of April. Greg was on his Spring Break, but I had to get off work a little early. When the nurse came in, she looked a bit surprised and said, "You're back already?" I was surprised she remembered me. I just told her that it had been about six months, so it was due.


Well, we get in there and she tries to use the oximeter, which of course doesn't work, then tries to use the ear clip which also doesn't read anything. That should have been the first clue for me of how things were going to go down. Well, she shows me the new machine they have and has me go in and sit on the chair. Knowing I was going to be there for a while, I asked her if I could grab my coat to sit on. It was a rock hard wood chair, and my butt just can't take that for long periods of time. Once we finally got that settled, I went to put my mouth on the mouthpiece. I don't even come close to fitting my mouth around it. So she grabs the one they use for kids. Well, my mouth doesn't fit around that one either. Of course not. And of course that is the smallest mouthpiece that they have, which actually surprises me because this is a test scleroderma patients do quite a bit, and I can't possibly be the only one who can't open my mouth....Right? Anyway, I started crying out of frustration, and the nurse was just a sweetheart. She kept saying things like, "I'm sorry you have to go through this," and just tried to make me feel better. She sent Dr. Walker a message letting him know I wasn't able to do the PFT, but I haven't heard from him about it, so it must not be too important.

After the nurse said, "Sorry you had to waste your time coming out here," we responded with, "Well, I already got work off, so it's okay." I was craving a seafood sub from Subway, so we went and got one, then Greg surprised me by taking me to Divergent.


Such a good movie! It could have followed the book a little better, but the main dude is might good looking, so I didn't mind too much.

Then we came out to this scene of snow. Despite not being able to do the PFT, it turned out to be a good day. We'll have to see what my doc says when I visit him next.