Since the episode from my other post. Greg has decided that I really need to exercise and lift weights. He has been telling me this forever, but I just ignore him. I don't want to do it. I'm almost always tired, and I feel like I just don't have enough time. I just want to be lazy, plus, in reality, I'm not sure how much it will actually help.

I decided to look online to see if I could find some stretches or something specifically for scleroderma patients. I found this one...

Let's be honest...If I could do that, I wouldn't have any issues. A: I can't get on the floor, and B: there is no way that I would ever be able to lift my legs and balance. NO WAY! Obviously the people who wrote this have absolutely no idea what it's like to have scleroderma.

To get myself "excited" about exercising, I created a chart for Greg and I to mark off what days we exercised, and what we did. I just need smiley face stickers to really make it fun!


I really don't do a whole lot. I walk on the treadmill at a speed of 1.5 mph for 15 minutes. I would so much rather walk outside, but that's really not something I can do by myself. There's always that chance that I will trip, fall, and won't be able to get up.


I also have wrist weights that I use when I walk, and occasionally do some arm lifts. It's hard since I can't lift both arms at the same time very well. Plus, while walking on a treadmill, it could be a disaster waiting to happen. Greg makes me wear the clip so if I do fall, the treadmill will turn off.


I think the most frustrating part of this is that I can't really do what I want to do. I seriously crave going for a 2 mile run outside. I miss it. I miss being able to do ab work. If I were to try to do a situp, well it may take years to happen. I really don't think this will help a whole lot, but at least I'm trying. Maybe soon I'll be able to pick myself up after I make a stupid decision to crawl.

Thursday was an interesting day. It started normal, me taking Greg to school by 8:00, chill at home for an hour, then eat breakfast. As I was finishing breakfast, I accidentally knocked my bowl of cereal on the floor. Thinking I'd be a good wife, I decided I would try to clean it up myself. I've learned that I can get to my knees by sliding off the couch, so I went to the living room and got on my knees.

As I was walking on my knees towards the kitchen, I thought, "This will take forever. Why don't I just crawl?" So I lean forward to put my hands on the ground. Unfortunately, I have very little upper body strength, so instead of catching myself, my head just kept going and hit the ground. As soon as that happened, I said (out loud), "That was stupid Breanne."

I stayed that way for a little while, with my butt in the air, head on the ground before trying to figure out a way to get up. I couldn't push myself into a crawling position, so I flattened myself to the ground. Then I laid there for a while. Then I rolled over so I could try and figure something out. About this time I looked at the clock and it was 9:20. I still had plenty of time to get up, and finish getting ready for work.

Yeah right! That was not smart of me to think. I spent a lot of time thinking about my different options. Now, I didn't have my phone with me. It was blasting One Direction on the kitchen table. I could have army crawled/wiggled my way into the kitchen to see if I could read the top of the table from the ground, but I was going to get myself up all by myself. Instead, I decided to go to our back bathroom where we have a little step going up to the bathroom. I thought that if I could make it back there I could crawl my way up the step and tub.

I army crawled backwards the entire way,  pausing about every 30 seconds so I could rest and catch my breath. My rests were about 5 minutes long, so it took a while to get back there. Once I maneuvered my way into the bathroom and over to the tub, I tried everything I could possibly think of to try to get up. Absolutely NOTHING worked! No matter what way I twisted or turned, I did not have the strength in my arms or legs to push myself up. As I lay there with my head on the step (it's all carpeted, so it was quite comfortable), I thought about just taking a nap. I was so exhausted, I seriously could have. But then I thought, "My co-workers are probably worried that I'm not on time." So I did not nap.

But as I lay there, and crawled my way through the house, I had a lot of time to think, and wish I had a life alert so I could get ahold of someone. I considered going back to the kitchen to get my phone, which did not sound fun at all, so I didn't. Luckily my tablet was just in my bedroom, so if I could make it in there, I could see what I could do.

I first looked at the time... 10:30!! Then I shot my co-workers an email letting them know I was still coming, I'd just be late. Then I considered adding my other co-worker Caleb as a friend on facebook to see if he could come over, since Greg was at work, and I didn't want to bother him. I finally decided to just facebook message Greg and see if he could come and save me. Luckily he was able to, and helped me up.

It was a very strange hour and a half. I had so many weird, random thoughts rolling through my head. I was just grateful that Greg was able to come get me.

When I finally got to my phone, I saw that I had missed two calls from my boss. I sent a text telling them I would be there shortly (Steve had emailed me back saying they were worried, and asked if everything was okay.)

Greg then told me that Danny had called him asking if I was okay and that he was going to come over. At that time Greg was already on his way, so he told Danny not to worry about it. Agh! It was so frustrating, and so embarrassing. I really was just trying to do something a typical housewife does. It was extremely frustrating.

I am grateful that my husband was able to find a way over to get me, and I'm also grateful for concerned co-workers. Danny had apparently left to make he way over when he finally got a hold of Greg. I felt so bad! But appreciate their awareness of me, and willingness to help me. I did let them all know where our secret key is, so if our house is ever burglarized, they're getting the first blame.

Also, Greg said I'm not allowed to get on the floor anymore. So much for trying to be somewhat independent!

I don't know why I was so nervous for this morning, but I was. I woke up at 6:15 so we could get to the hospital by 7. We got there bright and early, checked in, then waited for the nurse to come get me and take me to the cath lab.


The nurse, Rhonda, came and got me and took me back where I had to get undressed and put on the hospital gown. Then I sat on the bed and waited. She asked me a few questions, then tried to get an IV hooked up. She also had to draw some blood. Holy cow. I haven't had a needle hurt me so bad. After digging for a bit she got it enough to draw some blood, but it wasn't in well enough for the IV. One of the other nurses came over and he poked my other arm, which also hurt, but he was able to get it in fairly quickly. With my skin being so tight, and my veins small, it's a little bit harder to do that kind of stuff.


Dr. Saul, the doctor who would be performing the procedure came in and talked with me a little able the procedure. He was very nice and made me feel a little at ease. He said that my echo results were borderline, but sometimes they underestimate or  overestimate the pressure. The right hear cath would get a better reading of the pressures. Once he left, the had me sign the consent form and we were off.

They wheeled me to the room where the procedure would take place, where I was greeted by a few more nurses. They were all super nice and made me feel a little more at ease. The guy nurse talked to me a bit more about what was going to happen, and was just friendly, and funny. He told me about their pre-surgery rituals (slapping the butts of the ones who "scrubbed"), and joked with me about the doctor and how he was like 800 years old, so he'd done this a few times before, and his buns of steel. It was really great seeing people like him do a job he loves.

They transferred me from me bed to the table (that was fun. I love not being able to lift my head and get myself comfortable). Then they had me turn my head to the left so they could prep the insertion site. I don't know why they chose the neck instead of the groin, but it worked. They placed this 'tent' over my face and neck, and I stayed that way for a little while so they could finish with the other prep. There's something about not being able to see what's going on around you, and you hear things like "blade" and "I think I broke that" that can be kind of nerve wracking. But I survived.

Finally Dr. Saul came over and got started. He pinched my neck then inserted yet another needle to numb the area. Once that was over I really didn't feel anything. It was kind of neat because there was a big screen where I could see what he was actually doing. I could see the catheter going around my heart, and I could also feel it when he pushed it in further. It didn't hurt, but was a really weird sensation. Kind of cool to be honest. It's really weird to think that they can get that close to my heart and I didn't feel a thing. After they got the images and readings they need (took maybe 5-10 minutes), they had me lay still so they could remove the cath. The other nurse applied pressure around the insertion for a bit, then bandaged me up, cleaned me up, and that was it.

They wheeled me back to my room where they had me lay there for about 3 hours to make sure there was not any bleeding. I started coughing within the first half hour of being back, which apparently caused a little bleeding, so she kept me a little longer to make sure it was all okay. I really just laid there. I tried to fall asleep, but my head was hurting from my pony tail, and like I said, I can't really lift my head to adjust, so it was a little awkward, but I survived. I got to have like ten warm blankets, which are the absolute best.



Dr. Saul came in shortly after I was done, and let me know that the pressures in my heart are normal, so that's a relief. Once the three hours were up, my nurse called Greg to come get me, and wheeled me out to the car. It was a simple procedure, just time consuming. The IV's were the worst, and the warm blankets the best. Check off another procedure I hope I never have to have again!